


The Secrets We keep & Those We Don't

by Nerdqueen395



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bilingual Character(s), Death, Fear of Death, Fluff and Angst, Gen, It's slowly spiraling out of control, Langst, Magic, Maybe - Freeform, Out of Body Experiences, Strong Language, alexa play despacito, possibly blood, this is so sad, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-17
Updated: 2018-07-17
Packaged: 2019-06-12 00:35:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15327849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nerdqueen395/pseuds/Nerdqueen395
Summary: Based on a prompt I read somewhere:Lances roots being to grow in white, and Keith notices.Some secrets are meant to be kept, this was not one of them...-------------------------------------------------------------------Lance sighed, “Fine, I died. I died and it was super weird, but Allura came and helped me so it's alright now, don't worry.”“You what?!” Keith shrieked.





	1. The Kid's Aren't Alright

Lance ran his fingers through his hair, gazing into the mirror he had placed inside Red, long ago. Back when he was still somewhat new to this whole job, back when he still cared about his appearance. Then, life became just a hubbub of danger and mayhem. Blowing up Galra cruisers, watching Lotor win Allura’s trust (and his, but only to a certain point), just to shatter it and leave them with broken pieces to clean up on their own.

Because of this, it wasn’t until after the castle had blown to bits, and the Paladins were reduced to five lions and a mission to earth that things had… “calmed down”, long enough for Lance to notice the change in his appearance.

His normally deep brown hair was beginning to grow in white. It wasn’t enough to be that obvious yet, you had to know what you were looking for to notice it. But, given time, Lance would eventually have a full head of pure white. “Just like Shiro’s,” Lance whispered to himself.

“Did you say something Lance?” Lance heard Shiro over the comms and swore softly, he had forgotten to mute his mike.

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine, no worries, what about you guys?”

Coran responded, “Just fine, but we may have to make a small pit stop to pick up more supplies. We appear to be running low.”

Lance nodded, “Got it, anywhere in mind?”

This time, Allura spoke, “Planet Latens seems to have all we need, but all their stores are far apart from each other. I hate to suggest this, especially when we are weakened at the moment, but for times sake, I feel we should separate. I’m sending coordinates of the closest towns on the planet with the supplies we need to your lions now.”

Lance watched as his screen beeped loudly, and a map showed up of the planet with various parts pinpointed. “Got it,” Lance said at the same time as the other paladins.

“Alright everybody,” Keith spoke over the comms, “Allura, Hunk, Romelle, I want you guys on food, Pidge, I want you to go with Coran and Korolia to find parts we need for repairs. Lance, you’re with me and Shiro. We need to find medical supplies and ammunition.”

Normally, Lance would have complained about being with Keith, but now...well. This new, older Keith actually intimidated Lance, so he resorted to just mumbling “Sure.”

Quickly, the paladins (and crew) split into their respective teams, and went on their way.

Latens, as it turned out, was a very dry planet; the reason all the town's and stores were so apart, was because they had to built on rare oasis’s scattered around the planet.

It was also because of this, that they had to land the lions a short whiles away from the towns. This way, the water of the oasis could be protected from any extra dust that billowed up in the air when ships landed. However, this did mean a long hike for the paladins.

As Lance walked next to Keith and Shiro, he couldn’t help but feel uncomfortable. He didn’t know these versions of them. Keith had changed in the two strange years he had lived, and Shiro...This was a Shiro that had died _months_ ago. A Shiro that Lance hadn’t gotten to know in all this time, a Shiro that didn’t know Lance the way he should have after all this time. In short, Lance was stuck with a man lost in the past, and a man far in the future.

If he hadn’t been the odd man out before, he was now.

Lance coughed, “So...uh...Shiro, how’ve you been so far? You feel ok?”

Shiro chuckled a bit, “I’m not sure if ‘ok’ is the right word, but yeah. I’m fine,” He turned his head and smiled at Lance, “You know, I may not have been here physically, but I was watching from the Black Lion, and I have Kuron’s memories stored in here,” he tapped his head jovially, “I may not be the same exact Shiro you knew before, but I still know you Lance. There’s no reason to be scared.”

Lance blushed, slightly ashamed at how easily Shiro had read him. “Sorry, I just...It’s a lot to get used to.”

Shiro smiled warmly at Lance, “That’s ok, take your time.”

Lance smiled back, he had to admit, this Shiro was...kinder. More dad like. He glanced over at Keith, who hadn’t said a word this entire time. Instead, Keith had just been staring down (the height difference was..odd now) at Lance the entire time.

“Uh..Keith? Are you ok dude?” Keith squinted at Lance, who squirmed uncomfortably at the hot stare. “Keith? Seriously man, you’re freaking me out here.”

“Do you dye your hair?”

“What?” Lance reached up and touched his hair, confused, “What are you talking about?”

“Your hair, it’s roots are white.” Keith began brushing through Lance's hair.

“Really?” Now, Shiro had joined in the staring game. Lance’s scalp tingled with the unwanted attention. “Huh,” Shiro said, “Keith is right, your roots really are white.” Shiro began running his hand through Lance's hair as well.

Lance tried brushing them way, to no avail, “Get off me guys, seriously, it’s no biggie. It’s just hair. That's what happens when you're healed by Altaen magic. Besides, it’s not like my hair color change was as drastic as Shiro’s, I don’t understand why you guys are so obsessed with it.” Lance huffed.

Keith and Shiro stopped brushing his hair and glanced at each other in worry. “Lance, when exactly did Allura heal you?”

Lance raised an eyebrow quizzically, “Back when I got hit by that energy beam on that Galra base,” he looked over at Shiro, “If you have all of Kurons and Blacks memories then you should at least remember it.”

Shiro frowned, “I remember you taking a hit, I don't remember hearing that you were injured.”

Lance froze, “You guys...you guys don't know?”

“Lance, how badly were you injured?” Keith asked, worriedly.

Lance felt uncomfortable, “Er, guys, don't worry about it. It's nothing, it all happened in the past.”

Keith became stern, “Lance, as your leader, I order you to tell me what happened.”

“You can't-"

“And I,” Shiro said, “As your other team leader, also order you. That's a double order soldier.”

Lance glared at then, “You can't do that to me, that's not fair!”

“Yeah it is,” Keith said, high-fiving Shiro, “Right, brother?”

“Right,” Shiro said, smiling.

Lance groaned, ever since Shiro had returned from the dead, Keith and his relationship as ‘Big-bro, Little-bro’, had strengthened; the two were quite the pair.

Lance rubbed the notch above his nose in annoyance, “Ok, you know what guys? Let's just put a pin in this, boop,” Lance mined putting a pin in, “And just finish the mission before we take too long and the others wonder where we are.”

Keith and Shiro glanced at each other, smiled, and promptly sat down where they were, leaving Lance to gawk at them.

Keith smirked, “Not moving till you tell us what happened.”

“Seriously?!” Lance rolled his eyes, “Fine, you two can sit there and waste time, I have a mission to complete.” Lance began to set off, fists clenched in anger.

“If you don't tell us, then I'm sure we can get Allura to tell us.”

Lance froze, growling as he turned back towards Keith and Shiro, both smiling wide, knowing they’d finally gotten his attention. Lance stomped back over and sat down hard, blowing dust into the air.

“You guys really won't let this one go, will you?”

Keith shook his head, “Nope. Now, story time.”

Lance bit his lip, “You know, you guys are making a much bigger deal out of this than you really should be.”

“Enough delaying, Lance, what happened?” Shiro said, suddenly far more serious, Keith adopting the same expression.

Lance took a deep breath, “Fine,” He grumbled, “It was when Haggar got into your-Kurons,” Lance said, nodding at Shiro, “Head. Kuron panicked, and...stopped supplying power to the shield system.” Lance took another heavy breath, was it getting harder to breath? It was getting harder to breath. “The-the system didn't like that. It released an energy beam, beaded for Allura, I couldn't let that happen, So I jumped in front and took the hit.”

Keith let out a small gasp, “Do you mean to say, you took an energy beam head on? In Red?” Red had the least amount of shielding of all the lions.

Lance nodded, and both Shiro and Keith shared one more worried glance.

Shiro looked over at Lance, eyes a mixture of pride and sadness, “That was very brave you Lance,” he said.

Keith growled like he was keeping himself from saying something.

“What happened after that?” Shiro urged Lance to continue.

Lance swallowed, “Well...um...It's a little hard to explain.” all the blood in his face seemed to drain away, “It's...uh...see…”

“Lance,” Keith said sharply, “What happened.” He stated it like a command, which it probably was.

Lance shifted uncomfortably, “Allura healed me and we won the fight.” he finished, lamely.

“Lance…”

Lance sighed, “Fine, I died. I died and it was super weird, but Allura came and helped me so it's alright now, don't worry.”

“You what?!” Keith shrieked. Shiro’s eyes widened in shock.

“You died and didn't think it was important enough to tell us?” Shiro scolded.

Lance raised his arms in defense, “I don't know, it didn't seem important at the time!”

Keith glared at him, “What on earth constitutes you dying as ‘Not important at the time’?”

“Well...we were busy with...with Lotor, and the Galra...and...and Kuron…” Lance shifted, “It just...took backseat for while and once the Castle was destroyed we were busy with earth so it just...left the backseat and flew out the window, besides, “ Lance glanced over at Shiro, “I thought you already knew, I figured Allura would have told you guys or you must have seen it happen.

“I just…” Lance seemed to wither in their stares, “It never came up till now,” he whispered.

“Lance,” Shiro said, leaning forward to comfort Lance, but Lance pushed him away, standing up and dusting sand off of him.

“Ahem,” Lance coughed, giving them a wary smile, “I think we have supplies to go pick up, what do you think?”

“I think we need to discuss this with the team,” Keith said, “We can't go keeping monumental secrets like this from each other, not to mention, we need to speak to Allura about using her power so often. We can't have people dying, but we also can't have her keep bringing people back from the dead.”

Lance rolled his eyes, trying to bring back some humor, “I already told you Keith, it doesn't matter. I wasn't even dead for that long, now let's go.” Lance forged on ahead, leaving Keith and Shiro behind.

“We are definitely talking to everyone about this,” Keith mumbled as he charged after Lance.

“I couldn't have said it better myself,” Shiro agreed.

The Paladins of Voltron were in for a serious talk when they got back.


	2. Hate Is A Strong Word, But I Really, Really, Really Don't Like You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Doubts and fears keep comin' faster  
> Boy I'm headed for disaster, that's for sure  
> Brace me up, I'm going under  
> Help, somebody, find a cure  
> -Brace Me Up, Saturdays Warrior

As it turned out, getting the rest of the team together to have "That Talk", was a lot harder than it seemed. It didn't help that they were constantly busy with some battle or another, or that it was getting increasingly harder to find places to land. Shiro and Keith both knew it would be best to talk to everyone when they were all gathered together, but at this rate, that might not happen.

On several occasions, Keith tried to talk to Lance one on one about the dying incident, but Lance just shrugged it off. "I'm fine," he'd say, "It's in the past, don't stress about it mullet-head."

Keith stressed his worries to Shiro, "I really don't know what to do, I know it's bugging him, I can see it in his eyes. But I can't help him unless he lets me."

"Just give him some time," Shiro said, "I wish we could do more, but Lance has to realize he needs our help on his own, otherwise, anything we have to say will just be nagging."

Keith groaned and placed his head against the warm, glowing consoles, Yorak, as he'd named the wolf, came up and sniffed Keith for a moment before placing his head on Keith's lap and gazing endearingly up at him. Keith sat up straight again and ruffled the fur behind Yorak's ears. "Thank's buddy," He whispered. "I'm glad I have a friend like you."

At that moment, it hit him, maybe Keith couldn't get Lance to say anything, but maybe a close friend of Lance's could...Keith opened up communication with the Yellow Lion. Hunk's face appeared on the holographic screen in front of him, confusion in his eyes. "Hey Keith, what's up?"

Keith cleared his throat, knowing he had to be somewhat delicate with the matter, "It's Lance," He said.

Hunk's confusion increased, and he furrowed his brows, "Lance? What about him? Is something wrong?" Hunk frowned, "You didn't get into another fight with him, did you?"

"What? Hunk, no, I'm not like that anymore, that was two years ago."

"Two years to you maybe..." Hunk mumbled, still suspicious.

Keith sighed, "Ok, listen, I'm worried about him, alright? I think...I think somethings bugging him, but he won't listen to me, I thought he'd listen you, that's why I called."

Hunk nodded slowly, "I think you're right, he has been rather quiet lately, I'll talk to him, see what's up."

Keith smiled, "Thanks big man,"

"No problem." Hunk cut off communication and the screen blinked out of existence.

Keith rubbed Yorak's head again, "I hope I did the right thing," He whispered.

* * *

Lance was staring at himself in the mirror again, running his fingers through his hair. The white was slowly beginning to grow more prominent, and Lance knew it wouldn't be long until more people on the team, besides Shiro and Keith, noticed.

Lance wondered if he could blame it on stress, like how Shiro's bangs had turned white after that time with the Galra. Just as Lance was turning away from the mirror, he caught sight of his holographic calling screen up.

"Holy quiznack!" Lance shouted, yanking the mirror down and shoving it beneath the console. "Give a paladin more warning next time bro!" Lance chastised.

Hunk chuckled, "Sorry man, didn't mean to scare you, what were you doing by the way?" Hunk asked quizzically, "When did you get a mirror?"

Lance scoffed at Hunk, "Just because we're on the run, doesn't mean we can't take care of ourselves buddy," Lance started turning his head, allowing Hunk to get a full view of his face, "See this beauty? It takes hard work to maintain."

"Alright Narcissus," Hunk laughed, but it quickly dwindled and he became serious, "Hey, Keith said you weren't doing to well, mind telling me what's up?"

Lance's blood ran cold, "Keith told you what?"

"Just that something seemed to be bugging you and he couldn't get through to you."

Lance scowled, "Well, you can tell that  _cojones_ to mind his own quiznacking business."

Hunk blanched, "Woah, maybe Keith was lying when he said you guys hadn't gotten into a fight, I haven't seen you this mad in a while," Hunk's expression turned to that of concern, "Are you sure you're ok? Because even if Keith hadn't brought it up, I've noticed you've been acting a little strange lately."

Lance growled, "Yeah, well, sometimes fighting a war will do stuff like this to you, ok? Just leave me alone, I'll be fine."

Hunk frowned, "Calm down Lance, we're just worried about you is all. You know you can come to us with any concerns you have..." Hunk trailed off, leaving it as almost a question.

Lance's anger grew, " __ _¡Tu maletín!_ " He shouted, "My only problem, is you guys can't mind your own _quiznacking_ business, for  _five dobashes_.  _Me piro, adiós._ " And with that, Lance hung up on Hunk, cutting him off before he could say anything. Slowly, the anger began to drain from his body and Lance groaned, He couldn't believe he had treated Hunk, his best friend, in that manner.

When he had found out Keith had switched tactics and was having Hunk go after him, Lance had just...he'd lost it. His anger began to return as he thought about Keith, and he opened up a communication line with him. It rang once, before opening up, allowing Lance a peek into the Black Lion.

Keith didn't seem to realize that Lance had called, and was too busy petting Yorak to notice Lance.

"Oy,  _b_ _embelequero,"_ Lance shouted, Keith jumped in his chair and turned towards the screen to see Lance, glaring at him. 

"Er, hey Lance, what's up?"

"What's up?" Lance scowled, "What's up is you getting Hunk to do your dirty work! What the  _quiznack_ man?"

Keith seemed to shrink into himself a bit, "Sorry, I just..." He pulled himself back up, a fire in his eyes, "You weren't talking to me, I thought if I could get someone who was your friend to talk to you, you might listen to them."

"When I said I didn't want to talk about, I meant  _I didn't want to talk about it_!" Lance yelled at Keith, "Do you not realize that? Or are you so self absorbed in being ' _the perfect leader_ ' you don't realize that sometimes, people keep secrets for a reason?

"I don't want to talk about it for a reason Keith!  _Dios,_ it's a painful memory for me, ok? I don't want to remember what it was like to be be dead, to think I was never coming home to my family, to watch Allura frantically try to resurrect me," Tears stung Lance's eyes, "So can you please, stop bugging me about it?  _Por favor_?"

"Lance I..."

Lance shook his head, " __ _Tumbar la guara."_ And with that, Lance shut off communications, leaving Keith, frozen in his chair, knowing he had been wrong about the situation the whole time.

It was so much worse than he and Shiro had originally believed. 

Lance remembered dying.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oops, so much for resolving it this chapter...And to think, it was only supposed to be a one shot...I know it's short, I apologize for that, I've been really busy with work, college, not to mention I'm getting my wisdom teeth out next week, and for someone with a phobia of sharp pointy objects...This is not going to end well for me...
> 
> Heads up on the Spanish, Lance calls Keith a bastard, he says that's their problem (I hope that's the right context), tells hunk he's out of there. When he talks to Keith he basically calls him a gossip, or someone who spreads news to others. The final statement is the reason I'm doing this because I found it on a site full of Cuban slang and it hit me hard, Tumbar la guara, means:To interrupt, to break off an established level of trust and camaraderie. Lance has told Keith he no longer trusts him...
> 
> Thank you to everyone who commented, it really made my day! I had a lot of fun responding to them, and I'm glad I'm not the only one with some concerns about season seven -_-... Also, petition to change the ship name for Shadam to SHADAMN? Let's make it a thing.
> 
> Anyhow, catch me on Tumblr @nerdqueen395, and don't forget to leave a kudos or a comment!

**Author's Note:**

> So...this was supposed to be a one shot but...I just had too much fun with it


End file.
